"What about Gwen?" I asked.
--- from Patrick Kelly's "Hill Country Greed"
Her lips are a coral curl
crypting well kept teeth.
Coral sheets for a slumbering tongue
dry dreaming.
Her eyes ember low and absent
in my absence, I think;
I don't speak the language.
Gwen blends in a way that I do not.
She is a peach flesh sun
orbiting my pocked pit Earth -
the universe in reverse just for me,
but if Gwen
lies awake at night worrying about worms turning
or the slow burn of blight,
it doesn't show,
and I'll never know.
Gwen is scenery scrubbed of inner life,
15 comments:
Ah, good one for the day, MZ!! I know a couple of Gwens -- never could be me, I can never keep my mouth shut!!
I've encountered a few in my day. love this:
She is a peach flesh sun
orbiting my pocked pit Earth ~
Vivid, lush details! I want to read the book now~ Decadent and filled with wonder of what she did and said! I think we all know a Gwen-
Thank you Mama Zen-I will check out this book!
Yes, 'lush' is the perfect word to describe this character sketch; I feel as if I know her - from a different life maybe. Haunting, beautiful poetry.
Noticed: yesterday you wrote "liplocked" , today you're "coral curl lips." Hmmm, someone's subconscious is craving some kissing. Just sayin'....
[insert typical Moskowitz praise here]
"She is a peach flesh sun
orbiting my pocked pit Earth" Love that! This is one of my favorites you have written lately.
"Gwen is scenery scrubbed of inner life"....wowzers, MZ - sizzling poem!
You had me with the first two lines.
What about Gwen. Immortal, unforgettable words! :-P
The Gwen of your poem would probably be amazed at the implication that she might be lacking.
a haunting piece...and i think many are in need of "a slumbering tongue" these days....
"Coral sheets for a slumbering tongue
dry dreaming." What a rich image...
I do not know the book that you site from so do not know how that informs the poem--but you've certainly written a very captivating sketch, really summarized a relationship--and a very complex one==One can imagine Gwen's sultriness, but also there is a kind of rapacious quality there--not the right word--profound sense of entitlement that is in stark contrast to the other voice's pitted concerns. Wonderful description. k.
Very thought evoking and beautiful. Do we all have a bit of Gwen inside us? Do we all know a Gwen? Do we want to be her? Are we happy not to be? Ah... Wonderful poem!
That opening metaphor of the curled lips seemed unbeatable, until you topped it with the sheets and tongue. This is devastating portraiture, both of the subject and the speaker.
Coral Curled Lips....that gets to me...
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