I don't hear
angel wings. My mind's full
of things to do. No one's doing with me
what spring does with cherry trees. I'm small words, quiet
needs; this world's loud, tall. I canary
out of the coalmine -sing
what I saw.
A very rough triquain for Kerry's Sunday challenge at Real Toads
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Sunday, August 17, 2014
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
18 comments:
"I canary out of the coalmine--sing what I saw."
Priceless.
We need you more than ever, Jane Q.
This is my new favorite.
The Neruda ref and canary metaphor making the poem all the more powerful...
Your manifesto is nonpareil, MZ. Love the reference to e.e. cummings but your canary image is even better - exquisitely worded within the parameters of syllable count.
Succinct, strong. k.
Oops - Is it Neruda's image? My bad!
the canary out of the coal-mine-- what an amazing image... something I would have loved to have written
Cummings? Neruda? I thought it was the Police!
Another excellent and original piece, MZ.
Perfect .. the way you make words fit form.
Love your play with quotes, see the image!
No one's doing with me
what spring does with cherry trees
One laments at not being able to respond to good cues. Happens sometimes. Nicely MZ!
Hank
"No one's doing with me
what spring does with cherry trees. I'm small words, quiet
needs; this world's loud, tall. I canary
out of the coalmine -sing
what I saw."
This is exquisite. Nothing rough about it.
I was with Shay on that one. Guess I need to brush up on ee and on pablo. meanwhile, this rocked ~
spring is like a sometimes hand? and it ain't blossoming you. i love this too, MZ.
Wow. This is really good.
"No one's doing with me
what spring does with cherry trees." ... I'm melting over this.
And this: "I'm small words, quiet
needs"
You are so very gifted.
So smart, as always. Love the canary reference.
"I'm small words, quiet
needs; this world's loud, tall. I canary
out of the coalmine -sing
what I saw."
I'm sorry but I cannot place the Neruda reference (haven't read much of his work although I do love his poetry). But in themselves too, these images are loaded with meaning and power. Beautifully penned, as always. Loved this!
what can i say it's you, i missed your last two because i couldn't get in , don't ask since blogger sold to google i'm in hell ..so I come here to feel better, after 14 years blogging you'd think they'd be a little more considerate
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