When my illness craves your illness
and my plague pines for your dark plague,
I prepare my pride and poultice
and take to the sick bed I've made.
With Bible, bleeding bowl, and blade
atop my fever twisted sheets,
what unsuspecting haste is made
to bring you, my disease, to me.
For Poetics at dVerse
Thursday, August 16, 2012
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
29 comments:
I think I have caught your fever....or maybe it is just seasonal allergies.
(I enjoyed your write!)
Wonderfully twisted! That last line is fantastic.
The first four lines are astounding! Your piece makes me feel like mine is trite. I love the depth you've brought to the form. Bravo!
Let's try it in English this time:
The plosive alliteration here is like a hammer, or the thumping of someone else's headboard on a thin motel wall at 3 am. Every line is sharp as that razor, and sometimes you got to get sicker before you get better. Loved it, every word.
Terrific as always! You always amaze me!
I love the "bible, bleeding bowl, and blade".
Even when you drag us through the badly lit back halls of the fever ward, there is still an element of the fours star hotel, just because of how well you write it. Still, I don't think that's a mint on the pillow...
Not only the alliteration, but the clever structure, the anchor of the subject and the exploration is exceptional in these short, few lines. Brilliantly conceived and executed!
Oooo...sick indeed! Love it!
Oh, I think I know this person. A mutual friend often says "she enjoys poor health."
oo shivers...there is a bit of darkness in your verse....i like you use of repetition and alliteration...
some would call this love, others, passion and desire.
a connection blind of light and dark, but unstoppable.
later, it becomes either memory or regret. but always unstoppable.
you defined it perfectly.
rick
Seductive from a dark place, which totally works!
Wonderful. Oohh. k.
Lovely language play and dark comedic possibilities abound in the central narrative
Somehow you have managed to raise both "ew" and "yum" from my mouth at the same time.
This is my favorite part:
"With Bible, bleeding bowl, and blade
atop my fever twisted sheets"
whhhheeeewwwww! that gave me shivers! {because it creeped me out, scared the shit out of me and because you're soooo damn good!}
♥
O rose thou art sick..." I think William Blake would adore this poem! This gets right into the grizzly heart of a creeping disease!
so cool. Love the tone, great word choices. Amazing work with this form MZ. Thanks
I know the truth in this and admire how you've let me peek in such a way that I can't look away although I'm horrified. Wow!
I know someone like this! Superb.
Anna :o]
Bible, bleeding bowl, blade... Yikes. A true blood letting. Kinky disease ;) dark and sensual.
Love the blood letting, purification imagery! Delicious chills! Beautiful! :)
Mimi
Collage Pirate
I agree with Fireblossom. No mint on the pillow, no light left on...I'm trying to think of what the twisted opposite of a mint on the pillow is...but my brain is dead right now.
This is wonderful!
I love everything about this!
Being sick is being given extra attention. Some just love being sick. Great write MZ!
Hank
Sick bed indeed! Ironic to bring the Bible and Blade together on
"fever twisted sheets" with "unsuspecting haste." Is she cutting? Is she in love? I keep flashing on the Joni Mitchell song:
"Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet Oh I could drink a case of you . . ."
I really LOVE being reminded of that song. I LOVE how your poems always move me, how I am drawn to their magnetism.
What an amazing poem... the line "With Bible, bleeding bowl, and blade" gives me much to think about. I love everything about it... it reminds me how I am my own worst enemy...
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