I keep your letters in a drawer
under jeans I can't get into
and swimsuits I don't wear.
I keep you there
with things that no longer fit me.
You no longer fit me.
I don't hate you anymore.
But, I can't say for sure I loved you.
It all seems so blurry.
Why was I in such a hurry
to be somebody's girl
as if that's all there was to be?
Your letters in a drawer
are like ashes in an urn.
When I'm feeling funeral black,
I let them take me back,
not to the corpse of you,
but to the ghost of me.
For Fireblossom Friday at Real Toads
Friday, August 24, 2012
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
29 comments:
oh wow...great closure on this...that first stanza is really tight...and love how you play out things that no longer fit me....
Ohhhh, this is so good--the parallel of what doesn't fit anymore, of ashes, urn, funeral, corpse and ghost. And then you. Brilliant.
I agree I love the parallel of what doesn't fit any more. The ending is is so powerful...not to the corpse of you but the ghost of me
You blew me away with this one and what a powerful ending indeed!
Been here a few times, not sure if I have commented but I loved this poem...reminded me of one I wrote a few months ago...
http://wanderwithoutbeinglost.blogspot.com/2012/06/ghostpains-goodbyeto-you-my-dear.html
wander
I doubt there is a single reader who does not know exactly where this is coming from. I have a pile of useless old love letters from a distant time, written to different me. Maybe you can tell me why I don't just throw them away.
The last two lines of each stanza are so strong. I don't know whether there are actually letters or if this is purely made up, but the feelings come through so strong; and the description of how these feelings change is really nicely shown.
Thanks for being a part of FBF, MZ! It just wouldn't be right without you.
Ooo. Gut! Right in the gut!
Egads that was beautiful and strong and dripping of truth! Loved this!
Mimi
Collage Pirate
WOW those two last lines,Mama, and the whole thing! Great memory of those we used to lov and remain, somehow, like a cast on us, for life...!
Yes, that drawer of things that don't fit me anymore. This is such truth. But now everyone knows. This is such a good one.
The first stanza ignited the fuse, and then the last two lines of your poem blew me away...
Amazing piece, MZ! That ending WOWs!!
I love the perception in the last stanza about the past, the letters, the lover, recalling one's old self more than the other person, who has become a cipher, ashes--the other fades, and we only see our own face when we look back, so many times.
Sometimes we keep a little bit of the heart ache with us just as a reminder of how much better we are without the person who gave us it. From the emotions in this, I would think this was real at some point in time, if it wasn't then, well penned. Beautiful poetry.
.... 'jeans I can't get into and swimsuits I don't wear' ~ I thought I was the only woman with a drawer like this!!!
My old love letters are stashed in a box with a pretty turquoise ribbon .. for anyone who finds them to pour through ~~ relish, laugh and cry.
Your style is so refreshing! Makes for enjoyable reading.
Wow ... a great piece, the last two lines amazing !
"under jeans I can't get into
and swimsuits I don't wear." ... We all have one of these spots. So this was a great way to make the poem universal.
"Why was I in such a hurry
to be somebody's girl" ... Great pair of lines.
I love that poem, good work, greetings.
I am totally wowed by this, especially "not to the corpse of you, but to the ghost of me". Isnt that the truth? I made that trip away from myself in my time too, cant figure out why now!!!!!
Applause, applause!
I only have ONE suggestion (and who am I to critique Mama Zen! :) I don't think you need teh line "You no longer fit me" in that first stanza. The poem does a GREAT job spelling that out!
Love you used letters to denote passing of days...even to see the ghost of me ~ Well done MZ~
If you move a coupla times you throw certain things out rather than to keep moving them. This is what I found anyway!!
On another note, I do know what you mean here. There is truly something about going back and reading old love letters (or old letters of any kind). This generation of young people won't have to worry about getting rid of old love letters....textings disappear after a while.
Wow. I totally get this. I feel like I was reading my past relationship!
I can soooo relate to this.....love it!! That last line is "killer"!
Great close. Such an interesting way of looking at all this. Very well realized metaphor all throughout, and you tightly keep your focus (as always.) k.
Great close. Such an interesting way of looking at all this. Very well realized metaphor all throughout, and you tightly keep your focus (as always.) k.
really cool piece. Love how you start off by immediately describing some of the other items in the drawer, and in the manner you chose, shows a clear passage of time-very nicely done. Love the ending too, very good
That first stanza is gripping. "You no longer fit me." That says it all.
Ouch!
I'm glad we were never lovers, mz, or i'd be throwin myself off a cliff about now.
I can't help but wish the letters would just be burned to expel ghosts n corpses.
A scathingly brilliant rebuke
Rick
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