Fitfully, I loved.
Electric in my skin.
Above, the sky turned starless,
bloodless,
a tent
revival;
a preacher
spitting sulfur to the wind.
There, fitfully, I loved you,
and I would again.
For Love Hurts at Real Toads
Thursday, February 15, 2018
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
16 comments:
Geez, this gave me chills. One of my favorites of yours, ever. Crazy good line break between tent and revival.
"a preacher
spitting sulfur to the wind"
Wow. I could say this to my husband.
I agree about the line break.
You are very good at starting with something straightforward, shifting to some poetic shit, and then going back to straightforward, made all the stronger for the shift preceding.
there is fire and brimstone in this passion - so well penned
The preacher, sulfur. Fire and brimstone? Scared the bejesus out of your writer? For sure it did some good.
..
Wowzers! Yes, with that kind of love, one would again.
Short and to the point. The line break is truly flawless. Fire and brimstone. Yes, I would love again in that tent.
Damn, this piece suggests so many things, letting the reader feel the protagonist's lust and shame. It's all right there, sighing between the lines. Masterfully done.
I KNEW you would hit a homer with this one!
ah. your pens always scan with purpose - that closing couplet - so good ~
I love the defiance and the sounds in: 'Electric in my skin', 'spitting sulfur' and 'fitfully'.
Poem is stunning ... so few words!
Passion is built from contrasts... pleasure and pain, fire and ice... and we always return to it again.
'a preacher
spitting sulfur to the wind'
What an amazing image that is! Wonderful poem.
Luv luv luv the image of LINE 2
much love...
I would again too.. but then I never learn.
Faithfully, I'd say, to the conditions love has laid down from its sky. We get filled with the spirit, but we leak ...
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