The locusts came, and I bore witness.
Floods and flame weren't far behind.
The bankers blessed the mud and ashes
and planted a cross shaped For Sale sign.
Gave us three days to roll.
Roll like stones.
The river was red, and I bore witness.
Rent was high all over town.
We were poor relations of poor relations
uprooted from the only ground
we'd ever known.
Where we belonged.
After forty years, I'm bearin' witness.
Pharaohs don't set no one free.
God sends the plagues wherever he sees fit.
But the locusts only feed
on the likes of you and me.
Skin and bone.
For Susie's prompt at Real Toads. Still a little rough, I think.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
21 comments:
Wow. Lay it on. Then let's turn it around.
MZ--If THIS is rough, I'd be thrilled to write at the level of your "crapola."
Skin and bone - fantastic!
Rough poetry ... my new favorite!!!
"But the locusts only feed on the likes of you and me."
Wonderful writing, terrible truth. I was horrified when I found out there are homeless people here on the prairie, where winter temperatures can go down lower than 20 below zero Fahrenheit.
Woody Guthrie survived the Dustbowl years but he'd be horrified by today's world, I'm sure.
K
This put me in mind of those first chapters of Grapes of Wrath with its sense of hopelessness in the face of overwhelming odds. I really like the way you enlarged the perspective at the end and related the same tale 40 years on: the cycle of poverty is so hard to break, and you captured the poverty of a soul that has endured too much suffering.
I like the line about Pharaoh.
In the wheel of time, we seem to have come again to Depression-era foreclosure blues. The meek shall inherit the dust. Amen. - Brendan
nothing nothing is ever wrong in your writing nothing, and I don't care about prompts you're one hell of an a'mama'zing writer, you don't have to answer to anyone, EVER mama Zen
So powerful...especially the end... locust feed on those with nothing left to loose.. (my god is that freedom?)
Beautiful, love it :)
amazing lines...
may be rough, but the subject is too ~
the roughness honors the subject matter. i'd like to be your backup singer.
I think it is fantastic the way it stands. I feel it needs a rough edge considering the subject matter. Great work! Thanks so much for taking part in the challenge!!
Harsh words which ring a truth
This sounds like and blues song. I'd love to hear set to music.
Pretty darn good for rough--great rhythms. k. (Manicddaily.)
Guthrie-esque, for sure,and I think in a lot of ways we're reliving the past we won't learn from. Solid ending, musical feel.
If this is rough, I can't imagine what polished looks like.
Oh Mama Zen you could take a subject, turn it around, step on it, throw it out a high rise it would still be spectacular in the mean time we get to enjoy your quest for perfection (well for you) certain not for the people who read you how many ways can you say awesome, some awe..seem, Saw, seesaw,sea, sow, saw see what I meant, anyway you write mama Zen, you rock
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