It started with stars.
They're not what they seem.
Distant and dying,
but trying to be
the shine of the symptom
not the dark hole disease
they're feeding.
Still thinking about the stars for The Tuesday Platform at Real Toads
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Tuesday, April 7, 2015
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
22 comments:
Oh, YES!! And no one says/writes it better, MZ!! Hope your week is off to a great start! Enjoy!
Distand and dying...but aren't we all?
Absolutely breath-taking... I love it!
xoxo
This is about the life of a wife and mother. You feel like you're perpetuating the cycle of suffering, sacrifice, and depression (the "disease"). Mothers are teaching their daughters how to put themselves last so that everyone else can be taken care of and have what they need. But even though you're miserable, you do hope you can "shine" at doing it. ~By trying to smile and be cheerful through it all, for example. And looking pretty.
That's what I see, anyway.
I love this:
"the shine of the symptom
not the dark hole disease"
And also the impact of the space before the last line. It makes me think they're feeding others and the disease, but also that they're feeding themselves at the teat of a generation of mothers who came before them.
Oh, this is an aspect of stars I had not thought about. Very cool, MZ.
A very interesting poem, MZ--I don't really see it as being about mothers but maybe stars--real ones and celebrities too--certainly there is a void that we use them to try to fill--you are doing great this month--thank you. k .
I guess it can be read in several ways according to each person's thoughts but it is still an interesting wording - I like "but trying to be the shine"
I wish I could express such a wealth of wisdom and knowledge in as condensed a poem as you can. This is perfect.
I agree with Kerry on how you condense thought. You say so much!
I enjoyed this very much.
In a sense, stars ARE sometimes like people--not always what they seem to be and often on the road to self destruction. Good one, Kelli.
I think it was Oscar Wilde who said we're all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars. I'd call this the gutter disease.
Interesting -- a cosmic phenomenon into a metaphor of someone who has been great is now about to fall. The last line after a space has seemingly dual and dire meaning and also has a linger effect. The stars are already starting to pull things in like a black hole feeding or the stars are being drained by another nearby.
Yeah, somehow stars drifted into mine today also
Have a creative month
Much love...
That last line is so shocking. You wicked woman, you!
I swear you're a magician, MZ ~
Damn the disease! You have a way with words-Magic Mama Zen
A unique look at stars..a few words that give me so much to consider.
Perfect, poetic and pithy. Wonderful.
Perfect, poetic and pithy. Wonderful.
I think you say it perfectly.
How true that is in so many ways....a wise and witty write Mama Zen! :-)
It almost didn't matter what direction you took, after that opening line; it was going to work.
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