I was all hot tamale
with extra sauce.
Bitch and boss,
I took my one night stands
like a man.
But I didn't mean to hurt you.
Still, I never gave a thought
to what you might feel
beyond the tight curve
of my ass.
I didn't deserve you.
And you
deserved better than me.
55 words for Kerry at Real Toads
Blog Archive
-
▼
2015
(204)
-
▼
April
(24)
- Life Is More
- Corpse Flower
- Damage
- Pink Sheer Curtains
- Whole
- Last Legs Of A Long Night
- Must Be Love
- Half
- A Clumsy Haiku
- Caliology
- A Woman's Folly
- Burying Pete
- All Afternoon
- Still Life
- To My Mixed Race, Lesbian Great-Great-Great Grandd...
- Feather Dance
- Last Night's Love Poem
- It Started With Stars
- Seeds
- For R.
- Others' Rooms
- For Mine
- Pumpkin Center
- Paramnesia
-
▼
April
(24)
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
16 comments:
'But I didn't mean to hurt you...'
Such a familiar tune, but never a great moment when it happens to you.
Oh, sad. I can feel the mood in "all bitch and boss", and then the realization, later. You can get across story, mood and resolution in so few words it is truly amazing. A whole scene in 55 words.......it is a gift.
whoa. I don't think anyone approaches your consistent skill with pith, MZ. ~
That opening stanza is all MZ and all word perfect. The shift in tone is all the more poignant because of that.
MZ--Perfect and powerful (and poignant, this time) as usual.
I wish I could have written this... Though I think in my case it would have been 'I never thought you could have been hurt by me'... Really hit home this one! Love it!
RED HOT ... Mama!
Bitch and boss has remorse. You tell of a lifetime in such a limited word count.
A novel in 55 words!
Perfect! So complete.
A kind of reversal of the norms here--and a huge amount squeezed in very masterfully. Thanks, MZ. k .
How about that, a perfect 55! Giving in can get better results sometimes! Wonderful take MZ!
Hank
You sizzled this one~ I love the opening lines and then the realization-powerful~
This is great.
Yup!
ZQ
Brutally honest and eloquent.
Post a Comment