The sky fell -
bits of robin's egg blue.
The sea gave up its salt.
And, I stopped loving you
just like I said I would.
I guess this is the future.
People will tell
where they were today
when the oxygen ran out,
and the moon got in the way
of the sun
just to let your star move on.
I guess the future's here.
For Open Link Monday at Real Toads
Monday, May 12, 2014
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
17 comments:
Yikes. brilliant. I wonder if we'll have warning? Because "people will tell" is highly doubtful--at least for homo sapiens.
I like writing that is both audacious and approachable. You always reach the reader and shake up their perceptions. Wonderful, wonderful!
The premise of your poem is one to really make me stop and think: the future is now, we are living it rather than waiting for it to happen.
"the moon got in the way of the sun just to let your star move on." Wow, Mama Zen - this is powerful.
loving "the sea gave up its salt. fantastic.
You are GOOD, MZ!! And, you make me think and that's even better!!
yeah, get outta the way already!
The future is always closer than it appear.. and unfortunately we always see it in the rear mirror..
The tone is so resigned and blase. So I-told-you-so. But the imagery of the sky, and the sun moon and stars is gorgeous, more so by contrast.
It sounds like the time is right. I'll make a note of where I am and what I'm doing. And I'll be watching for that moon...Excellent.
I love the first stanza....you have captured the truth of how time is out of our control, yet it is in a way....great writing! :-)
I really like the way you take the standard love lines (sort of) and turn them upside down, you know, "I'll love you till the mountains tumble to the sea" sort of stuff. Brilliant and painful and so well done.
Its a wake up call!
wow ~
it's been predicted forever, I never believed, until you. It's been foretold to me and they said they could save me for the cheap price of I can't remember, I said no thanks I'd rather go with the rest.
Just plain fantastic. I love, love, love this!
I think the mind reels backwards in an ancient tidal rhythm, its so hard to peer forward, think ahead, understand that yesterday's future is today. Is this what the end feels like? I guess ... but the spell is hard to imagine and hold, isn't it? It keeps running back toward the past. - b
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