"What are you doing,"
my daddy asked me that day.
But I was only six,
and I couldn't explain
that each doll had her place,
and there could be no mistakes;
otherwise, I might go blind.
That day
I learned
how to lie.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
12 comments:
This one is magic ....
Love this. It moves me and takes me to the truth I too learned early. Lie-ing in the sense of omission was an advanced skill. Terse. Inviting no questioning.
Oh, yes!!! I do love it, MZ and no one says/writes it better!!
It covers so much.
Wow, this was great. Forced me to remember how I learned to lie: my miscreant cousins were visiting and one of them took scissors and cut a curtain. My mom said that "that TV will stay off until one of you confesses! I don't care if we have to wait until Kingdom Come!"
I loved TV too much, but it came back on, after I got whipped with the belt for it.
Tell me TV ain't a drug.
When you say "how to lie" at the end, you are using a double meaning ... how to lie down, for Daddy, who is molesting you. The reason you must line up your dolls or "go blind" (black out to escape from what is happening) is that you have no control over your life; all you can control is the presentation of your valuables. As you line them up, you leave your body and enter theirs ... safe, far away from Daddy's "lessons."
Or maybe I'm way off.
Now that I read it again, I think maybe you are saying that you are a doll being put "in your place." You had better make "no mistakes" or Daddy will cut out your eyes. Attackers make all kinds of crazy threats to get children to submit.
The shortness of the last three lines conveys that there is extra information hiding between, so we'd better pay attention if we want to get the real message.
You ability to 'say so much' knows no bounds.
Innocence would distinguish threats to self very distincly and would react accordingly! Nicely MZ!
Hank
Very emotional piece...so needy, so in need of protection...
I don't lie, I've been told that since I never lie I attract liars...
One of those childhood moments, when someone realizes that her inner reality is beyond explaining, and some way has to be found to deflect unanswerable questions. Been there, done that, and it's no damn fun.
wow ~
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