What harm would it do
to pen you a line?
Just a word or two
to help pass the time.
No baring or sharing
my heart or my soul;
just a line, then I'll
let go.
But if a line became two,
and two became three,
what would you do?
Would you write back to me?
Or, shrug off the silly girl
you used to know;
loved and then
let go.
Getting lyric-y and ballad-y for Christina Rosetti's December Birthday at Real Toads. Also submitted to Poets United.
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Sunday, December 1, 2013
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
26 comments:
eh, we will never know until we start to write it eh? and then its on them...but what hope we cling to
Lines thought, penned and sent are still lines, and here, I think they are come-ons of the "I dare you" kind. I hope he/she answers.
beautiful. :)
some great lines with questions that are begging for answers... great poem...
It all starts with one line and next thing you know...
I like the approach you took here. The rhymes and listing reminds of Rossetti's style in Goblin Market but without the sense I got that hers was awfully overdone. (Ssshhh!)
Ah, yes!! I do love this one!!
Clever with great rhythm.
love the rhythm...
I think you've done Christina proud. The ending brings a pang.
Beautiful in form and evocative in mood. Letting go has got to be the hardest thing in life.
You certainly created new poetry while going back to the classic rhythm .. and yes that balance between too much and too little... hmmm... hope we never overdo that.
what harm indeed
At least a good start is made. Someone has to initiate and it should work when emotions are invoked! Great write MZ!
Hank
This is a delight to read. Thanks for the treat!
I understand the desire to know just what would happen. I think we might all hope for the best, but know it might not turn out that way.
Yup, love the ballady thing--and loved this
I love your inquisitive nature luring us in-like a tender letter!
Very clever Mama Zen!
I enjoy these mounting lines and emotion behind this ballad, Mama Zen! Great writing!
rhythm like a song. loved it :)
just marveling at the difference in voice between this and the Lou Reed post. ~
Ah! You put across a very awkward question in a manner that would make my heart melt and write back several lines to you.
\yearning for a note, a sticker an acknowledgment that for a second he thought of you
Great lyrics...they just rolled into a rhythm looking for a lead :-)
ZQ
My instincts say not a great idea but a lilting lyrical poem nevertheless:)
Clever write.
I often consider this too. And how dare he let me go! :o]
Anna :o]
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