Sunrise ruins a dream
of speaking
shimmers of heat
and fear/offering
so much of me
that nothing needs
or wants to feed anymore.
It's sad, sorry, spineless relief
this being kept and becoming meat.
Losing tongue / keeping teeth
and silence
saltybittersweet
For M's prompt at Real Toads
Thursday, July 23, 2015
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
13 comments:
Ah, just what I needed to read tonight!! Thanks as always, MZ!! Hope you have a great weekend with lots of laughter and fun!!
This is both fierce and resigned, and as dark as an eclipse. The last few lines are worded perfectly.
I find the phrasing perfect throughout - never a word wasted in expressing in-depth ideology.
"...becoming meat." Indeed. This crawls up under my skin & wiggles around. xo
"Losing tongue / keeping teeth / and silence"...gritty.
"It's sad, sorry, spineless relief
this being kept and becoming meat." Oh, the poet-envy you gave me with that! Dark beauty and even darker things on the plate of this poem, MZ--fine, fine writing.
Yes, I know that feeling, giving so much of oneself no one wants it any more....and the silence and gritted teeth. You have written this as truly as it can be said. I agree with Shay - "fierce and resigned".
Agree with Joy and Kerry--this is very intense and compelling--becoming meat-losing tongue--keeping teeth--how do we manage it? Thanks, MZ. k.
Losing tongue ripples into the shards of wonder~ Yes, you are fierce
quite strong, this. for some reason, the "becoming meat" part reminded me of some Doctor Whos and Torchwoods... anywho, i really liked your poem. upon second and third readings, i keep coming back to "losing tongue/ keeping teeth and silence" and i keep reading it as "losing teeth / keeping tongue and silence." anywho, kudos!
Bitter sweet! Packs a punch. I like.
I wish I could write like you. That verse that HW cites... damn. Thanks for adding your pen ~
I am in love with that first line....
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