Everything was different
the morning I awoke
with a strange song in my throat
not my own.
Every note
repeated
repeated
cheated
from another.
Not a thing was different
the morning I awoke
with a song shoved down my throat
not my own.
Every note
repeated
repeated
cheated
of any other.
For Fireblossom Friday at Real Toads
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April
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- 7th Inning Stretch
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April
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Friday, April 26, 2013
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
21 comments:
Well, I'm a little disappointed that you didn't do the interlocking fukyu, but still!
This is really cool, the idea of having a song, but the song being one that doesn't really belong there. Also, I like the subtle changes from the first section to the second. eally good stuff, MZ. Thanks for being part of my challenge!
FB's comment is on the money. The whole poem rings with a cry for an original voice - a concept I can fully relate too.
Wonderful. Sharp/poignant/singing. k.
very nice...the near repetition makes the subtle differences jump off the page in this one....
wow...just few words changed and it's a whole different feeling
Not sure my brain could even do a mockingbird but you took it's qualities and very much embedded them into your being. Extraordinary thinking, IMO, and well done!
In such a locked circuit, is there any other I? This poem is brilliant! Thank you!
What a clever take on the mocking bird. I love hearing them sing despite the repeats.
Brilliant take on this challenge...love it.
Perfect title--and yet, the mockingbird always has something to say, and the context is always its own. I love the structure in this, the echo/mirror of the lines.
I like this!
Brilliant it is! I love it, MZ!!
I love the subtle change ;D
You are so clever~
:D Loved it!
This is fantastic!
I've never seen or heard a mockingbird outside the Harper Lee novel, and, later, the movie. Thanks, you have made me remember how much I want to see and hear one.
Wonderful poetry, MZ. You're an artist.
K
Way cool response to the challenge. Love the idea of a song not one's own locked in the throat. Clever subtle word changes too that make such a difference.
Way before your time ... I fell in love with the mockingbird the first time I heard Patti Paige sing "Mockingbird Hill" ... I couldn't have been older than ten or eleven. Your poem certainly resurrected many memories for me.
How I tire of singing another's song...I feel this one.
So lovely!
First part lovely, second part eerie. You're a marvel, MZ.
Looking for a voice is a poet's full time occupation...:)
Yes! Wow...and what a disappointment that would be. I just love your choice and approach. Great!
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