Your ghost comma curls around my shoulders
when I go walking late at night
to seek my solace from the moon
once the whippoorwills have sung her to shine.
The laying on of hands failed twice
to wash my one wish from my flesh;
to mate the mist that's left of you
comma curled against my neck.
for Open Link Night at dVerse
Blog Archive
-
▼
2012
(256)
-
▼
July
(25)
- Standards
- Skinner Box
- Wayward Arrows
- I Tried
- If They Can't Take A Joke
- Hieroglyphics
- That June
- A Woman's History
- Unfinished
- The Devil
- Roadside Stand
- Unanswered
- Constellations
- French Today
- Thirteen Seeds
- What We Wore
- Down At The Local
- Wood Of The Widow Maker
- Other Housewives
- Uncertainty
- Boxed Up / Boxed In
- Indecision
- Ghost
- Snapshots
- Ellipses
-
▼
July
(25)
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
41 comments:
Great atmosphere and diction, I'm always impressed with your economy and emotional impact.
dont know if that demon is gonna get cast out...smiles....comma curled around your neck...that is hot...smiles.
Comma curled against my neck... Niceeee. :)
You ARE GOOD!!
A wonderful commentary on desire...perfect eight lines. So hard to sound so complete in such a small space. But the brevity is the window into something much larger...very fine job.
MAMA!!! I love this...ALL! Your last stanza rocks!!
Diction or addiction of some kind: hard to see the difference here. Comma, always better than a full stop :-)
comma curled against my neck..that is way cool
Astounding images and resonant words.
Awesome piece, beautiful imagery.
Lovely use of commas, MZ. (Trust me, that can be tricky. ;_) )
And quite a haunting you create with the ghost of a wish that can't be exorcised. Seriously good.
The poem is good. Avoid the faith healers and exorcists.
Ooh... I love this... especially the first stanza.
"Comma curled against my neck..." I can just feel that. (shudder)
this left me speechless. gorgeous poetics here to taste. thank you.
I can see that curl of mist around your neck. Beautiful imagery.
... & the comma suggests that your one wish still flickers with hope. Not one word wasted: eight lines full of impact & a whole poem so strong that I can't (& don't want to) shake it off ~ love it!
You da man!
Comma curled around your neck- good write!
Nice. really nice read. I love the comma here, as it could be taken in so many ways, even in dialect, as in come and. Very nicely done. thanks
ghost comma - that is so cool. i'm going to think about that all day.
yoga teacher limerick
Ah, see? You jumped in on that conversation after all!
This evokes such a tender and melancholy mood, with a strong element of yearning. That ghost seems pretty alive to me.
So evocative and rich as always - I too have ghosts curled around my shoulders - I adore the last line - such a perfect image
I love how your ideas make the poem itself a coma.
your pieces have a certain dark playfulness which I always enjoy.
Sensuously beautiful. Curling around the neck can be anything to start a conversation. Nice thoughts MZ
Hank
Commas are such pesky punctuation!
Could be worse, I guess -- a semicolon would be ick and an ampersand might not stick. Around your neck...
Clever! A wonderful write. You keep it short which strengthens the poem.
Comma curled round your neck... I quite like that imagery :)
I just came in from outside, watching the fireworks and the fireflies beneath the moon... i thought those were mosquitoes tickling my neck, but now I wonder if they were commas...
great write!
wonderful write!
"to mate the mist that's left of you" made me shiver, i know that feeling
There is power and skill in this. i especially like the whippoorwills singing the moon to shine.
I really enjoyed this a lot
Short, powerful...oh yes, some of the best poetry comes in small packages...I'm experiencing a whole new relationship with my commas!
Beautiful and succinct, not a wasted word, Mama Zen.
"comma curled against my neck", this is beautiful.
Pamela
What a wonderful write, thank you.
I really liked this. So creative. Great job.
This is impressive, MZ.
Felt its resonance
You're so accomplished! :)
I like the comma image, and the mist.
SOOOOO cool! definitely one of my favorites, MZ!
♥
Post a Comment