Night's hieroglyphics are plain to me
as initials carved on a tree.
Graffiti is history.
History, graffiti.
Stars shine with secrets.
Moons fill to tell.
Then, sunrise
steals my
sight.
sight.
Submitted to Words Count at Real Toads
36 comments:
Wouldn't this be better with five or six more stanzas?
Ow, why'd you wail on me? Geez.
I love the feeling of symbolism and etched secrets throughout this, Mama!! You captured something mysterious here...love it!!
Loved this just as it is :)
Feeling one with the night? with the blindness of history? secrets? gossip spilling forth? Yes, that is what darkness is for! As if the brightness of day uncovers all of the secrets! Dang, that was already 32 words--and I so wanted to tell you how Edison's invention was a conspiracy to leave no shadows unturned . . .
I love it and no one says it better and not going on and on and on is one of your incredible talents!
Yeah, night language can certainly be easier to speak/decipher than day language.
Your opening and closing are my favorites:
"Night's hieroglyphics are plain to me"
"Then, sunrise steals my sight."
Graffiti is history.
History, graffiti....nice...i like the flip in that...and the night is more my speed as well...
See now what you say in 5 words:
Graffiti is history.
History, graffiti.
It's going to take a lot more fine-tuning on my part to get this kind of succinct profundity right.
Lovely scalloped stanza, going up and down in syllables.
I love this, especially the last part. I've always been a night person.
K
Ah, moonlight IS more illuminating at times.
I do like:
Graffiti is history.
History, graffiti.
Great prompt MZ ~
Oh yes!! I totally feel this.
This is so short, but leaves so much for the imagination to get lost in.
Hmm....blinded by the light
Provokes thought
In so many ways, the blind see more clearly than the sighted.
And i think we of the night too, or at least differently.
I feel claustrophobic in the giant of day, a little lost. But when night finds me, all is well.
I love the speed and power you get out of economy model poems.
Rick
So beautiful, Mama Zen........especially the closing lines.
Concisely expressed. I def see that often less is more.
"Moons fill to tell." Gorgeous.
Lovely, short, but does it's job. K.
perfection!
♥
A very soothing evocation of the moon goddess, EMZEE! Cheers.
Moons fill to tell. So many secrets kept in the night. Then sunrise steals your sight. Mysterious write. :)
The world is full of marks and markers..a gift to be able to see them..light can spoil the magic it's true..jae
"Stars shine with secrets.
Moons fill to tell."
I couldn't agree more. I like this, and the nonet form lends itself to this brevity!
AUTHORITY
Night and day
is okay.
But all right:
day and night.
(✿◠‿◠)
▲ A ▲
I like the way one thing feeds the next! thanks.
Beautiful and eloquent as always!
An ouroboros painted in fine brush stroke—the visual inspiration and the delicacy of your poem.
The dark is wonderful for sitting with mystery. Initials carved in a tree. The moon fills to tell. How churlish the sun!
I NEED to learn the brevity lesson from you, Mama Zen. The prompt was great and your work on it is a sure inspirer.
Short, sweet and just perfect.
Anna :o]
beautiful! said one who is brief with words to another. :) love it, love all of your writing.
Lovely ... like music of the night.
Great prompt. I like your poem--wonderfully spare.
"Night's hieroglyphics" is a lovely phrase. The images throughout are astonishing. Spare writing, beautifully done, Mama! Amy
Mine was:
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/07/28/corner-shelf-onstage/
Graffiti is history. No one can beat that line. Terrific as is the whole piece.
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