Oh, this honey hewn night!
I am manic with just desire
to shape your sugared stardust right;
put wax to fire
and fuse the fork between our wicks alight.
Oh, damn this forlorn night!
Our grand affair ground down to sand
by clash and drive and spit and spite -
you're just a man,
I'm sad to find; just a man of blacks and whites.
A form wordle for The Sunday Whirl and Kerry's Challenge at Real Toads
Sunday, December 2, 2012
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
24 comments:
"Shape your sugar stardust right" is brilliant, MZ. You aced the form which is not an easy one. Love it.
put wax to fire
and fuse the fork between our wicks alight....wow great line poet...
like the intensity of the second...arent we all just a...smiles.
Ha, what sadness to find a mere human indeed. Sigh.
No one says/writes it better and this one does have a real intensity.
I really like the second stanza.
I love this poem! YOU added your MZen voice to a difficult form!
Bravo :D
Yeesh! Just a man... of black and white... Now there's a lament of the ages.
I feel the disappointment
Yep. Just a man. It's what we men do best. :-P
A brilliant example of how it's all in our perspective.
Aroused passion and italicized buzz kill. It's a balance for sure. Stuff wears you down. I think,for us, that black and whiteness, has kind of been welcome. Reassuring. A certain honesty. It can be pretty romantic too. The words talked.
Very well done, Mama Z!! You capture vibrantly the emotions...love this:
"I am manic with just desire
to shape your sugared stardust right;"
Excellent!
Theres something about this one that catches me lingering vagrant for more.
Call and revulsion, the stronger the one, the stronger the other...but it gets pretty bland in no man's land, too.
..love how you used all the words in this short contribution and so well too..
...'just a man' - that says a lot.. :)
I see the first one from the male PoV and the 2nd from the female.
Woman are complex, while men can be distressingly simple.
Cheers!
JzB
I really enjoy your writing
I hope it's the first. I'm such a romantic, and I liked the forked wicks. The realist part of my says no way, he's just a man. HAH! Thanks for BOTH>
hooray! don't know why this made me want to cheer, but it did - maybe because it's so different than the relationships I tend to write about, sort of the other side of things...and because it's great.
Brilliant idea - wordle both sides of the equation with succinct imagery and wonderful word use ... and really very well done - kudos
http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/12/ecstasy-driven.html
I like the heat of the first stanza, whew ~
The second stanza is waking up to see him just a man after all ~ Good set MZ ~
I love the contrasting stanzas. This is a fine contribution! So glad to have your wordling your way through Sunday with us. :)
Brava! I love this...
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