Mama's in the cafe
writing in her cahier.
Waitress is narrow-lipped
thinking poets never tip.
Dude in a raincoat,
barefoot, pants off
straight off the shamba
here to syphon off his drop.
Stupid little girl-
slinging your pearls
and tapping your casks
for any shivering fool that asks.
Politeness is destruction
taken critically to task.
Peering round the curtains
a sculptured mirror mask
watches Brandy pour the brandy
as the awning just collapses.
Flipside . . . for OLN at dVerse
I'm having surgery tomorrow, so I won't be around for a few days. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
36 comments:
ha there are some fun lines in this...cahier is sucha cool word to...she is probably not too far off on poets...but she probably gets a bigger percentage of our overall profits, ha...really like...Politeness is destruction
taken critically to task.
Fantastic atmosphere and word play, supercool! All my best for your surgery, may you recover quickly and fully.
Good Luck with your surgery, best wishes. Enjoyed the poem.
Love the poem, cannot resist Bob D, either...
Feel better soon!
Thanks as always for the smiles. I'm holding good thoughts for you and hope your surgery goes well!!
Sylvia
Ha... I love, love, love this... I read it with the tune from the song in my mind and it works so perfectly. Huge Dylan fan... that is one of my favorite song titles of his.
Best of luck to you tomorrow!
Politeness is destruction
Taken critically to task
Ooh lala! That was sweet
And i just pretended not to see the es of collapses:)
This was slick, mz
Good luck with the sawbones
Prayers n thoughts with ya
The word play in this was delightful!
Fine moment for an awning collapse! Glad Mama was there to capture the poem, which does contain a tip after all. I couldn't help singing the entire thing.
Mama Zen, may your surgery and healing be successful--swifter and more comfortable than you expect.
Nothing like this ever happens in the coffee shop by my house--though I used to wait tables with a chick named Brandy. Hard to out-Dylan Dylan, but you gave him a run for it here. Best of luck tomorrow, MZ--then just let yourself slide for a few days--a girl's gotta heal what a girl's gotta heal.
don't follow dverse,
and watch your parking meters!
An enjoyable poem, Mama Z. Good luck for the surgery - may it all go smoothly.
Love,
ViV x
love the poem, but more importantly, sending positive energy and good thoughts for your surgery! get better soon!
♥
dani
Ha! What a riot. :)
I LOVE this section, especially the missing pants:
"barefoot, pants off
straight off the shamba
here to syphon off his drop.
Stupid little girl-
slinging your pearls
and tapping your casks"
But amongst all the humor, I think this is beautiful and haunting:
"Peering round the curtains
a sculptured mirror mask"
What a cruel thing to do, wearing a mirror for a face. She might scare everyone away.
I cannot believe you got all this to rhyme. :) Bravo!
Oh, and this is also quite thought provoking and is really rather wise:
"Politeness is destruction
taken critically to task."
Surgery?! Oh no! Something minor, I hope. I do hope all goes well for you, MZ. You will be greatly missed.
Very sprightly darting biting incisive dancing poem. You are terrific. May your surgeon be as skilled as you--don't mean to be too graphic here-=but your own cutting edge is sharp and brilliant. k.
do like the music this piece made
Many great lines, here, Mama. "Stupid little girl," I hope she was saying that to herself, cuz that's harsh! (I say it to myself all the time, though.) I'm one of those been-in-that-waitress-uniform types who always tips obscenely, taught Lex and Riley to do the same!
Surgery? May the doctor's hands be warm and precise, and may you have patience with the process and a happy outcome. Much love and many good vibes coming your way, sorry you have to go to hospital. Love, Amy
So well done. I love love love how you captured the cadence and (in my mind) melody of the Dylan song. I could hear him singing along. Maybe you should send it to him :-)
Love this poem!! The observations are great. I especially like the word "dude." It makes the poem for me personally. Been called that a few times. Don't every hear that word used poetically.
Oh you were just getting going. Loved it!
Beautiful word play MZ! One gets to thinking how nice it is to present something different! Nicely!
Hank
Peering round the curtains
a sculptured mirror mask
watches Brandy pour the brandy
as the awning just collapses.
Hi mama
. I love it when a final section of the poem sends me right back to the top for reread. It just sparkles my imagination...
All the very best, take care
A vibrant write, mama. I loved the word play in it. Good wishes to you for surgery. Take care.
Pamela
Hope the surgery is a simple procedure and that you're quickly healed. I love the 'caheir' and will from here forth substitute it when I want to say moleskine! Really like the way you capture what's going on all around the main character.
ha..so they think poets do never tip..smiles..maybe you could write a poem for her next time...smiles...best wishes for the surgery MZ
Great lines in here MZ. Really cool piece, love the play on the title to the song. Good luck with your Surgery, will keep you in my prayers for a safe and positive procedure.
Loved the picture you create and esp the tight lipped waitress...totally cool...best wishes for the surgery and a quick recovery
Great word play
Best wishes for your surgery. I'll be thinking of you and sending gentle hugs.
Nice word play.. I enjoyed this :) Best of luck on your surgery!
It's was so much fun to read aloud at the speed of the song...nice going. Best of luck with surgery!! Hope you're back soon.
Yus! Love this - love the word play!
Good luck re the surgery.
Kind regards
Anna :o]
Hope everything went well, and wish you a quick and easy recovery.
Hope you're doing okay, Kell. We miss you.
MZ, I missed this so didnt know you were having surgery. I hope it went well and that you are healing and feeling better. Take good care of yourself.
Hope you are doing all right after surgery. Can hardly wait to see your next poem!
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