I've yet to regret
a single word I've written you
although I suffer sickness
from dining on my heart.
Bloody lips
against the silver.
Half-closed eyes
as I surrender
another line.
And, I've yet to forget
a single word you've written me.
I often suffer sickness
from pining for your art.
My ready lips
tremble tender
and slightly part
as I remember
another line.
Please,
another line.
For Open Link Monday at Real Toads
Linking to dVerse, as well
Monday, December 26, 2011
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
35 comments:
Mercy. A request put just that way is impossible to refuse.
"I suffer sickness from dining on my heart".....WOW!!!!!
oh this is great - "although I suffer sickness
from dining on my heart." - such a great line, nice to see it linked at Real Toads!
I love this. Please, another line.....
My ready lips tremble tender... Please, another line.
I remember when I felt this feeling.
tremble tender and slightly part..another line...love this MZ~
Fabulous, MZ. Great work!
K
Wow..this is amazing...great work!
Love how you infused the Mind/Heart connection and incorporated senses so brilliantly into the mix. Wonderful job, flows with a song-like rhythm. Another great piece. Thanks
I find the third stanza to be particularly resonant - I can relate to the idea you have presented in this piece.
..as I surrender another line.
A bit of vulnerability here! You are amazing!
A powerful plea, Mama Z!
(Hey! I made a rhyme!)
The cadence and tempo here are almost grueling, and yet beautiful as well. See, poetry really is cheaper(and more effective) than whiskey. ;_)
although I suffer sickness
from dining on my heart... i think i just fell in love with these lines..
Fantastically penned. I love it. More, please.
Ahhh..you do "intense" so well :)
Loves agony and ecstasy. So beautifully penned.
Agree with Hedgewitch especially. the other line--so cool, of course, it reminded old-fashioned me of a caught fish, but there's also the whole nose powder thing!
And the words!
K.
I suffer sickness from dining
on my heart... from pining for your art... those are powerful lines
Very beautiful, wrenching poem! xxxj
this made me ache...mama you caught that notion for sure...and more
I agree, that is a fabulous line... you bring to words the pining & longing felt...
wow dining on your heart...makes for a viceral image...one that sticks...nice write MZ
Really enjoyed this, Thank you.
Some great lines in this - particularly the request.
Yummy.
This is how I feel about your poetry.
~Shawna
(rosemarymint.wordpress.com)
This is a wonderful poem, a perfect balance of sound and meaning. So much said with so few words!
A powerful write with strong images as ever - you capture the sensation of pining superbly
That stirred up my ocd, dining on your heart sends pictures to my mind that aren't filled with glee..haha
Before I comment on your poem...I have to get over laughing at the name of your blog. hahahahahaha! Love it! // Now for this delicious poem...you hooked me at dining on your heart .... but I love the entire poem. My favorite for the night. You have a WOW talent, lady. More from you please in 2012!
A ghostly dinner-tale this, table set for two, the sole remaining diner picking at her own heart on her plate, wondering if the other will ever show up, if feasting will ever resume ... B
This is terrific...It's so artful, the way you echo (and transform) the first two stanzas in the second two. And with such a great windup. This is filled with memorable lines, too. Very nice piece, this. Happy New Year to you, and keep up the good work in 2012.
Make me a believer, Master WordWeaver! I think most of us could die at your pen, Mama Zen! You are the queen of killer lines and this piece is overflowing with them...to pick a favorite...impossible, but please, another line?
I love the metaphor here but can't seem to stop thinking of another line as the white powder...
Dining on my heart... what a way to put it. Its lovely and I could relate to it.
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/12/whisper-no-one-is-there-in-living-haiku.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
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