You're like a store bought peach,
all promise on the outside,
but stone beneath the skin.
I hold you in my farm girl hands,
wise to the sweet weight of ripe
and unmoved by a flawless blush;
there is no give beneath my fingers.
Like a store bought peach,
you'll never soften till you rot.
For Open Link Night at dVerse.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
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About Me
- Maude Lynn
- Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ---Flannery O'Connor
39 comments:
So you'll wait for me to rot before you let those birds peck away?..haha
Wonderful comparision.
hard hitting words... i like these lines ~
"You're like a store bought peach,
all promise on the outside,
but stone beneath the skin."
that end slams it home.
awesome...
yikes...we used to use those in battles...tight write MZ
Love it. No nonsense or superfluous words...like superfluous!
Buy organic! :) "unmoved by a flawless blush" -- my fav line. This one hits it all the way home.
Sounds like you shop at the same supermarket we do. Nothing more contradictory and wrong than gorgeous, stone cold peach.
My god, you make me smile! These farmgirl hands know exactly what you're talking about...and I love the finish! Let that dagger fly! Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of your biting wit!
That's why it's best to grow your own. (Though peaches don't fare well here in Michigan) Nice one, Mama Z!
gulp - this last line - dang!
i know such peaches and i know such people and now they're forever connected...excellent mama zen
Yes!-- great imagery here. just got a mealy white peach in the grocery--- such a disappointment after the ripe deliciousness of those of my youth-- perhaps a metaphor for my current dating life (: Love your words. http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/2011/07/29/week-146-it-digs-in-so-deeply-so-far/
i'll never look at a peach the same way again!
love, Love, LOVE this, MZ!
That last line is a zinger!
This gives me shudders.
I used to enjoy peaches until I bit in one once and the gap in the peach left from the bit had a small worm wiggling in it~!
Ohhhhh yuck!
This is powerful writing, telling it like it is and no mistake.
A brilliant comparison - Im with Brian this write is tight and hits the mark true as an arrow hitting a juicy peach....
A close friend once said to me, "It would scare people if they knew how much you see about them." She could have been talking about you, too. After reading this merciless little dust-off, remind me to stay on your good side!
The difference between homegrown and storebought is light years, and you nail it all here in some fine tight writing that leaves no room for any extenuating arguments in favor of a blushing cosmetic emptiness. Last line is killer.
Razor sharp. Ouch!
What I love about your poetry, Mama Zen, is its sparseness, you get right down to the essence without farting around with too many words.
Zing. This one has great sting.
Lady Nyo
Mmmm, best off the farm. They still have the stone but enough sweet and delici
ous flesh you don't mind so much. :)
Sliced and diced. Cleanly.
The stone-hard peach didn't begin to blunt your edge, that's for certain! Well done.
ouch.. i like this poem.. nicely compressed with enough "pow" to wake up the reader..
yes indeed, my kind of write..short, sharp, memorable
Powerful ending.
what's not to love about you farm girls?! You can tell by the feel and you know one when you see one. You are a peach!... the real deal. great write.
That is one delicious analogy.
We have all had a peach or two in our lives, you've said what many want to and never do, this is fabulous writing it is feelings on our most human level!
Always buy those peaches, and I am always disappointed.
This is awesome! So good!
Excellent, Mama Zen.
Fantastic, MZ!! No one says it better!
Sylvia
ooo what a bite you have! lol ..brilliant write..
..ah, i like the wit your wrapped in those very lines.. so much to learn about.. gracious!(:
~Kelvin
Those last two lines pack a punch - peach flavoured though they be...
Simple, direct and right on. Great last line.
"wise to the sweet weight of ripe"
love.this.
creative metaphoric description of a peace and a hurtful person
Farm hands that sure know how to write good poetry
"wise to the sweet weight of ripe / and unmoved by a flawless blush"... if only we all were so wise.
I wish I could photocopy this and sneak it into every 7th grade curriculum! But I suppose it needs to be learned from experience.
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